Jesse: Hey, Al, did you read the sad letter about Goose Rocks Beach in this week’s free paper?
Al: No, Jesse. What was so sad about it?
Jesse: I had to get my hanky out to finish reading it. It was all about people who have been using the beach since they were kids and are grown up now. It was about walking dogs who are now in heaven. It was from the main SOB. It was a love letter to the beach.
Al: Hmm. I did hear that the Judge wanted the Town and the Plaintiffs to send a letter to these 65 people who own land on the beach but aren’t involved in the lawsuit. I think the Judge wanted people to get legal advice. Did the Judge want a love letter sent, too?
Jesse: This number one SOB, he said he didn’t care if it was in court, he could not sit by and let whatever happens there just happen. He told people not to join the suit.
Al: That was stupid. The Judge said the 65 people have to join one side or the other.
Jesse: I guess he was just so overcome with emotion he couldn’t help himself from giving legal advice. The SOB I mean, not the Judge.
Al: I wonder how the 65 will feel if they follow his advice and lose control of their land. Say, is he only an SOB or is he a TMF?
Jesse: Well, he’s an SOB for sure but I’m not sure if he’s a TMF.
Al: Well, this isn’t the first letter from what I understand. The Plaintiffs sent one. Then the Town sent one, too. But they weren’t love letters. In fact, the Town’s letter made it seem that they are mightily pissed off.
Jesse: Yes, I’ve read those letters. The Town’s letter is not a love letter. It was a mad letter. Then the Town Attorney sent a mad letter to the Judge.
Al: Then there’s supposed to be a letter coming out that’s from both the Plaintiffs and the Town. That one shouldn’t be a love letter or a sad letter or a mad letter but just an informational letter. I’ll have to go back and see what the Judge wrote in that Order in August. There wasn’t any mention of a love letter. Or a mad letter or a sad letter.
Jesse: Look, here in the recycle bin, here’s the free paper. Take a look at the letter and see what I mean.
(Some time passes)
Al: Well it is a sad letter in parts. Thanks for loaning me a hanky. But I would not call it a love letter. There’s too much stuff about fighting. In fact, it sounds threatening. And he does say some pretty mean things about other people. For a love letter writer, he sounds pretty mad. Yes, I’d call it a mad letter.
Jesse: He’s just a guy who cares about the beach. He wants to be able to continue to walk the beach or build a sand castle or hold his wife as they watch a sunset at the beach, even if it is on someone else’s property.
Al: I just hope I don’t run into him on the beach. He sounds mad.
Jesse: Do you think the Judge will read the letter?
Al: I don’t know. But Jesse, if I were that SOB, I know what I would do after sending that letter.
Jesse: What’s that?
Al: I’d take a vacation somewhere far, far away from Goose Rocks Beach. Maybe somewhere in the mountains.
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